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It's all a little old - the loving and the hating
Created on 2007-07-12 15:45:52 (#13363920), last updated 2008-09-02
5 comments received, 516 comments posted
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6 Journal Entries, 2 Tags, 0 Memories, <10 ScrapBook Files, 0 Virtual Gifts, 2 Userpics
Basic Info| Name: | stickthinpin |
|---|---|
| Birthdate: | 01-15 |
| Location: | United States |
Bioso, needing to update. let's see...i've decided that fighting this war behind my eyes is futile. I am happily married. Have a dog, live in TX, have a great job, nice car. On the outside, looking in - you might say it's ideal.
But it's a lie. No matter how good things around me get, i am not happy. I am anorexic. Began when i was about 15, and for years i thought i was just crazy. until i was diagnosed, and i realized there are others who think like me....i finally had a name for the madness in my head.
it's like there is something that is broken inside me - and i try to fix, patch, or mend it...so i either fill myself with pills, alcohol, etc...or i starve. because something inside me tells me that i am not good enough to enjoy eating...
i know that people can be whole. i just have to find my path to wholeness.
I want kids. but everytime i get close to a healthy weight, i flip. it's like my disorder screams, "i'm not done with you yet!" so i keep going in this comfort i find - the one thing that has always been there for me. anorexia. I am resolved to live and die in this.
Leave some love, my page is plain, but i plan to change that....
But it's a lie. No matter how good things around me get, i am not happy. I am anorexic. Began when i was about 15, and for years i thought i was just crazy. until i was diagnosed, and i realized there are others who think like me....i finally had a name for the madness in my head.
it's like there is something that is broken inside me - and i try to fix, patch, or mend it...so i either fill myself with pills, alcohol, etc...or i starve. because something inside me tells me that i am not good enough to enjoy eating...
i know that people can be whole. i just have to find my path to wholeness.
I want kids. but everytime i get close to a healthy weight, i flip. it's like my disorder screams, "i'm not done with you yet!" so i keep going in this comfort i find - the one thing that has always been there for me. anorexia. I am resolved to live and die in this.
Leave some love, my page is plain, but i plan to change that....
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Friends [View Entries] Friends (56):
12orange12, 2bethinny, ale23, alices_fall, an_empty_bus, ana_addict95, anawontgo, anorexythin, ashnj412, beskhu3epnmm, carousel_xx, cecgogirl, chanel524, clear_staticc, cokezer0, dayof_atonement, dbloss, deathisinvsble, defygravity404, emily_xx123, fragile_fairie, givemestrenght, honeyoil, i_want_freedom, imogenhelena, jennifer8829, jis80, kendallness, kitideboo, kmae1107, kmeek19, londonrainstorm, mz_misery, neko_no_boshi, neon6apocalypse, nickers_21, nvr_good_enuf, onlywaterforme, prettyprologues, robocoprabbit, roxylx, scarlettana, seekingsvelte, shaletown, short_on_shorts, skinnyornot, skiny_strongx, stickthinpin, thinkingthin43, thinnymandy, thinspirer, tinayuthers, tohavetochoose, wannabethin09, what_truthx, xx_twiggs_xx
Mutual Friends (41):
12orange12, ale23, an_empty_bus, ana_addict95, anawontgo, anorexythin, ashnj412, beskhu3epnmm, cecgogirl, chanel524, clear_staticc, cokezer0, dbloss, deathisinvsble, defygravity404, emily_xx123, fragile_fairie, givemestrenght, i_want_freedom, jennifer8829, jis80, kitideboo, kmae1107, londonrainstorm, mz_misery, neko_no_boshi, neon6apocalypse, nickers_21, nvr_good_enuf, onlywaterforme, robocoprabbit, seekingsvelte, shaletown, short_on_shorts, skinnyornot, skiny_strongx, stickthinpin, thinnymandy, thinspirer, tohavetochoose, what_truthx
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